A Lesson Learned

After spending any time at all in China, one becomes accustomed quickly to not-so-good English translations. This phenomenon extends to menus as well. (I’m not complaining, no. I am grateful, for these poor translations are still far better than my Chinese.) This story is not about that, though. Rather, it is about the lack of common sense by three certain university students (myself included) who ventured into a place that, based on the previous experience of one of the three, produced tasty beverages such as fruit smoothies. (The name of the place, in case you are curious, is “Good Wood Coffee”. It is a chain, apparently, with locations throughout the region.) Anyway, not being the most adventurous person in the world, stuck to what I thought I could recognize and enjoy. Being the coconut junkie that I am, I ordered a frozen drink labeled “Coco Mango” something-or-other. My companions, on the other hand were feeling a bit wild I suppose, and curiosity got the better of them when presented by the menu with something called a Palum Smoothy. We attempted to inquire as to what this mysterious something was, and I asked our waitress (in Chinese) whether this something was fruit. Much of her response was incomprehensible to me, but I definitely, clearly understood when she said that no, it was not fruit. This should have been a clue to us, but we forged ahead, determined to enjoy some new experience. The third drink ordered by our group was a Lavender Smoothy. You know, something a little different. (It was not until later that I told my friends about my past experience with lavender-flavored ice cream. After all, it’s not horrible and why spoil the surprise.) Anyway, the drinks arrived after a bit of a wait. In the dim lamplight of the place, the mystery drink arrived and was black as night. A taste. A grimace. “Here, you try.” A twisted expression. “You want a taste, Michael?” “Of course,” I replied. An assault to the taste buds. We requested that a copy of the menu be brought again, so we might (perhaps too late) attempt to determine what this vile thing was. Before I go on, though, all I can say to describe the flavor is that it was smoky. I wondered if we had ordered a charcoal smoothy. On consulting the menu, we determined that the stuff was something called “wu mei”. Wu mei? Some fumbling with the dictionary led me to my answer. Smoked plums. We were at once surprised and heartened. Surprised because we hadn’t expected it to be plums. (Hadn’t we been told that it wasn’t fruit?) But what had we been expecting? Heartened because it was not something more off-putting. Now, the mystery solved and a strawberry smoothy newly arrived to take its place, we laughed, stared, joked, and (of course) tasted again this strange new discovery.