Force Ranking the Eurovision Song Contestants, Semifinal No. 1
I share my rankings so you know where the Eurovision voters got it wrong.
| # | Place | Country | Song | Artist | Comments |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | qualified[1] | Germany | Always on the Run | ISAAK | Good song. Good beat. And flames. |
| 2 | qualified | Ukraine | Teresa & Maria | alyona alyona & Jerry Heil | Catchy beat with a cool rap bridge |
| 3 | dnq | Iceland | Scared of Heights | Hera Björk | Boppy. I love it. |
| 4 | dnq | Australia | One Milkali (One Blood) | Electric Fields | Love the Disco vibe how did these guys not advance?! |
| 5 | qualified | Portugal | Grito | Iolanda | I dunno I just liked it |
| 6 | qualified | Cyprus | Liar | Silia Kapsis | Pretty run-of-the-mill pop song |
| 7 | dnq | Moldova | In the Middle | Natalia Barbu | Nice beat, great effects. |
| 8 | qualified[2] | Sweden | Unforgettable | Marcus & Martinus | Club music |
| 9 | qualified | Serbia | Ramonda | Teya Dora | Slow songs get punished |
| 10 | dnq | Azerbaijan | Özünlə Apar | Fahree feat. Ilkin Dovlatov | Not bad, but not special |
| 11 | qualified | Luxembourg | Fighter | Tali | Another meh song |
| 12 | qualified | Lithuania | Luktelk | Silvester Belt | Good performance, meh song |
| 13 | qualified | Slovenia | Veronika | Raiven | Velcome to Shprockets |
| 14 | dnq | Poland | The Tower | Luna | The Chess aesthetic was interesting, but the song was not |
| 15 | qualified | Croatia | Rim Tim Tagi Dim | Baby Lasagna | I don’t know how to rate metal because I hate it. (But I’m assuming they’re better than the Bambie Thug and Olly Alexander.) |
| 16 | qualified | Ireland | Doomsday Blue | Bambie Thug | Nothing against devil worship, but no. |
| 17 | qualified[1:1] | United Kingdom | Dizzy | Olly Alexander | Oh god they’re worse than Bambie Thug |
| 18 | qualified | Finland | No Rules! | Windows95man | Okay it can get worse |