Eurovision Song Contest, First Semifinal
In which I force rank the first semifinal entries
| # | Outcome | Country | Artist | Song | Comments |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | dnq | Azerbaijan | Mamagama | Run With U | First real banger of the night; next level when he jams on the saz; ends a little abruptly |
| 2 | Qualified | Sweden | KAJ | Bara Bada Batsu | Ode to sauna is an immediately catchy little earworm; where’s my towel? |
| 3 | Qualified | Netherlands | Claude | C’est La Vie | Starts slow but builds to a banging beat pretty quickly; Claude’s singing is a little rough around the edges |
| 4 | Qualified[1] | Switzerland | Zoë Më | Voyage | A nice song, simply staged a focused on the artist’s voice |
| 5 | Qualified[2] | Italy | Lucio Corsi | Volevo Essere Un Duro | A fifty foot long piano and giant amps; vintage sound |
| 6 | Qualified | Portugal | Napa | Deslocado | soft rock sound with emphasis on instruments and vocals; Similarity to Wings is impossible to ignore, but I like it anyway |
| 7 | dnq | Croatia | Marko Bošnjak | Poison Cake | strong dissociated artist, experimental theater vibes here; musically has its moments, but feels very disconnected; as art-with-a-message it's very good |
| 8 | Qualified | San Marino | Gabry Ponte | Tutta L’Italia | Is David chewing gum? Yes, he is. These guys have the sound that Væb were going for but failed to achieve. What the hell are they wearing on their faces tho? |
| 9 | Qualified | Norway | Kyle Alessandro | Lighter | dressed like Joan of Arc from outer space; singing at the gates of Hell; good toe-tapping beat; and fire! |
| 10 | Qualified | Albania | Shkodra Elektronike | Zjerm | Fire seems to be a recurring theme tonight; Pretty sure she's summoning a demon; pretty good beat interrupted by a weird bridge where the dude performs some kind of incantation (more demons?); Once the music starts up again tho it's pretty good |
| 11 | Qualified | Ukraine | Ziferblat | Bird of Prey | 70s vibe, pretty good guitar riff and drums; funky costumes; perhaps the most original sound so far |
| 12 | Qualified[2:1] | Spain | Melody | Esa Diva | Part Charo, part Zorro; good house beat, listenable if a bit ordinary |
| 13 | Qualified | Iceland | Væb | Róa | Bouncy track but not that inspiring; channeling Devo, with aluminum foil outfits and big sunglasses instead of Flower pot hats; Minecraft sea creatures |
| 14 | dnq | Belgium | Red Sebastian | Strobe Lights | Everything's very red; extreme close up and lots of eyes; does all that red pleather squeak when they walk around? Would have been better if the clones had exactly the same outfits a la Thomas Crown; Oh there was a song too? Hardly noticed until the rave got going toward the end |
| 15 | Qualified | Estonia | Tommy Cash | Espresso Macchiato | I guess he's trying to caricature Italians life? Just seems kind weird and creepy; I like the flappy airplane though |
| 16 | dnq | Cyprus | Theo Evan | Shh | We found this year’s Schprockets entry; He is complaining with a backbeat and I just don’t care |
| 17 | dnq | Slovenia | Klemen Slakonja | How Much Time Do We Have Left | An emotional message delivered via a really mediocre ballad, sung partly upside down |
| 18 | Qualified | Poland | Justyna Steczkowska | Gaja | witchcraft, spells, and fire; dragon; animalistic costumes and cool visual effects all outshine the music, which is just kind of industrial noise with some singing |