Eurovision Song Contest, Second Semifinal
In which I force rank the second semifinal entries
| # | Outcome | Country | Artist | Song | Comments |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Qualified[1] | France | Louane | Maman | They sent a ringer; totally unfair, Louane is in a completely different league here |
| 2 | Qualified | Luxembourg | Laura Thorn | La Poupée Monte Le Son | Surrealist sugar plum faerie vibes here; which makes sense since it’s set in a dollhouse. Even though she’s not your perfect doll. Whatever. I like it. |
| 3 | dnq | Australia | Go-Jo | Milkshake Man | I like the music; very catchy; staging is really weird -- which I guess is on brand for ESC |
| 4 | Qualified | Latvia | Tautumeitas | Bur Man Laimi | Reminds me of a Cirque du Soleil show (that’s a good thing) from the singing to the costumes to the staging; all that’s missing is the trapeze; hold on, they just sprouted monkey tails! |
| 5 | Qualified | Greece | Klavdia | Asteromáta | It’s raining fire as the beat kicks in. One of the few songs where everything actually works, even if it is somewhat formulaic. |
| 6 | Qualified | Denmark | Sissal | Halucination | Another banger to get you out on the dance floor. It’s musically simplistic but sometimes that’s what you need. |
| 7 | Qualified[1:1] | UK | Remember Mondy | What the Hell Just Happened? | Strong Beauty and the Beast vibes here. Surprisingly catchy, but no one except Queen gets to do Queen. |
| 8 | dnq | Georgia | Mariam Shengelia | Freedom | Cirque du Soleil called, they want their Russian dancers back. Strong musically but never quite delivers |
| 9 | Qualified | Armenia | Parg | Survivor | Strong rockin track, sounds a bit angry but I guess that’s okay for a survivor. Why is he covered in dirt? |
| 10 | Qualified[1:2] | Germany | Abor & Tynna | Baller | Another run-of-the-mill club song. La la la la blah blah blah blah. |
| 11 | Qualified | Lithuania | Katarsis | Tavo Akys | Dude sings very beautifully about how terrible everything is. Thanks, I want to kill myself. |
| 12 | Qualified | Austria | JJ | Wasted Love | This song is all over the place. It’s a ballad. No, it’s an aria. No, it’s a rave. On a raft. At sea. During a typhoon. My dog got up and left the room at the high notes. |
| 13 | dnq | Czechia | Adonxs | Kiss Kiss Goodbye | The brooding is strong with this one; pardon me while we have a mini rave in the middle of the song, followed by the screaming (not in a good way) climax |
| 14 | dnq | Serbia | Princ | Mila | He has a very powerful voice, but I think he’s in pain. |
| 15 | Qualified | Malta | Miriana Conte | Serving | Obnoxious performance that seems like over-the-top parody. On the other had it embraces the camp. Might be good because the music if forgettable. |
| 16 | Qualified | Finland | Erika Vikman | Ich Komme | Velkome to Schprokets. This song has multiple personality disorder. |
| 17 | dnq | Montenegro | Nina Žižić | Dobrodošli | Singing dancing flower in front of, what, a xenomorph emerging from behind the scrim? the strongest part of her performance is when she just holds a note |
| 18 | dnq | Ireland | Emmy | Laika Party | Rather ordinary house music with a thumping beat and a weird dancing dog in the background. |
| 19 | Qualified | Israel | Yuval Raphael | New Day Will Rise | Zzzzzzz. Oh did I nod off? |